A Few Wise Men

Lately, I have been reading George Vaillant's remarkable summing up (at least so far) of the longitudinal Harvard Grant Study of Adult Development that was begun in 1938 to study the long-term growth patterns of 268 Harvard undergraduates. The researchers involved, who originally chose the subjects for their physical robustness, wanted to see what kind of adult lives were led by healthy, well educated and highly privileged individuals (all male) and to identify possible patterns or recurring themes that over time could characterize this particular cohort of men. Vaillant's book, which was issued this year, is called "Triumphs of Experience," and it recounts in considerable detail the lessons that can be learned from this study's voluminous findings. Remarkably, Vaillant, as principal investigator, is still gathering data on participants who are now well past 90.

First, it is essential to recognize that because this study excluded women and was confined largely to caucasians, it has very limited use for capturing anything like the full range of human experience. Still, some of the stories that are told and some of the themes that emerge, especially about these men as they grow old, says a lot about what some mature men eventually discover to be the most satisfying aspects of their lives.

As the study progressed, a tremendous amount of data were collected about professional accomplishments, personal relationships, physical health, and overall attitudes toward life. What especially intrigued me can be found in the chapter called "Maturation," especially the stories of men who scored very high on a variety of scales for measuring wisdom. At age 75, the men were asked to define wisdom. Their answers included answers like these below and tended to be quite different from what they said at earlier ages.

"Empathy through which one must synthesize both care and justice."

"Tolerance and a capacity to appreciate paradox and irony even as one learns to manage uncertainty."

"A seamless integration of affect and cognition."

"Self-awareness combined with an absence of self-absorption."

"The capacity to hear what others say."

Synthesizing these responses in a way that I hope is fair, I come up with the following qualities these men deem to be especially important in a human being.

• Concern for specific individuals combined with a concern for the general welfare
• Tolerance for difference and uncertainty
• Balance of emotion and intellect
• Blend of self-awareness and awareness of others
• Heightened capacity for listening

It seems to me that these qualities and others very much like them coincide or are identical with the qualities that we tend to associate with caring, cohesive, democratic societies. Looking out for the other person, maintaining humility about what we know, avoiding the temptation to overemphasize reason, staying open to multiple perspectives, these are the characteristics that are constantly invoked to keep democratic groups flourishing. Getting older really can become, in Dr. Vaillant's words, a "triumph of experience." All of us who care about life in communities would do well spending more time with our elders. They have a wisdom to share that too often escapes our notice and interest.